Childbirth is a major transition in every to be parents life. Especially in the early stages after delivery, to be parents, especially mothers will be mostly sleep deprived, may have mood variations, and be overwhelmed. Since a newborn baby requires complete attention, you will not have much time to spare for planning or discussion about...
Home LearningQuestions that every to be parents should discuss
Childbirth is a major transition in every to be parents life. Especially in the early stages after delivery, to be parents, especially mothers will be mostly sleep deprived, may have mood variations, and be overwhelmed. Since a newborn baby requires complete attention, you will not have much time to spare for planning or discussion about serious matters as a couple. Hence, it is best to discuss relevant questions before childbirth itself so that things get a bit easier. Following are a few relevant questions that you may want to discuss as to be parents before the arrival of your baby.
How long do you want to go on parental leave?
The first question you should ask yourself and discuss with your partner is the duration of your leave from work. It depends on what is practical for you as a family. It is optimal to look out for a plan that allows you to just not do the baby care and necessary chores, but also gives you time to bond with your baby.
Dividing responsibilities:
Dividing household chores requires some thought and planning together. You would want to discuss how various chores would be shared or divided between the two of you. Tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc need to be organized and maybe divided into smaller chunks to make it easier.
Early weeks- visitors- yes or no.
The first few weeks, especially the first two weeks after delivery is a period where breastfeeding gets established and the mother starts getting on track with it. Also, it is a time of drastic changes in the lifestyle- sleep changes, baby blues may be present, and after-delivery pains might be there in some cases. It is ideal to limit visitors as much as possible. Again, the situations and preferences may change from couple to couple and there may be differences of opinion between couples. It is good to discuss the topic and if planning to strictly limit visitors, you need to plan ahead how you are going to do it.
Setting space for specific purposes:
You can pre-plan and set up space for different aspects of baby care.
Think ahead and spot the best place to sleep, feed, and bathe your, baby. You can also start with baby-proofing your house if you have extra time now.
Shopping- how can you minimize
The early phases after delivery will be one of the most hectic times in your life and you may want to go shopping as less as possible due to lack of extra time. It is advisable to plan in such a way that you can store food items for a week or half-cooked meals which can be used in different ways.
From whom can you get help when you both need a break:
Exhaustion is an inevitable part of parenting, especially if you don’t have many people to support you. It is difficult to care for your baby when you are running out of physical and mental resources. Hence, it is important to take a break when you feel you are too overwhelmed. It is a good idea for to be parents to think together and find out a person whom you can trust with your baby, who can afford to offer their time for you when you want a break.
Who are the people whom we want to get involved with baby care other than us?
Rather than blindly following the traditions, you may think through who wants to get really involved in the baby care process other than the two of you. What are the pros and cons of hiring someone externally for baby care? Or do you want to take care of the baby all by yourself? What may be some of the practical difficulties in that case and how can you plan in advance to minimize them?
The way you want to parent your child- disciplining, ways of nurturing. Is there something you are particular about in raising your child?
It may be a later question, after the newborn stage, but it is always good to reflect on this question. Often, parents don’t consciously ponder about the way they were raised and how different or the same they want to raise their own child. Also, there may be differences of opinion among couples about the way they want to raise their child with respect to parent-child attachment, disciplining, values they want to impart, etc. Some of these things can be addressed only as your baby passes the newborn stage, but it is good to share your own ideas of being a good parent and listen to your partner’s viewpoints too. This will later help you in choosing the best of each of your viewpoints.
Preparing older siblings if any:
If you already have other children, this is the time to prepare them for welcoming the new baby. You may discuss how you can involve your older child more so that s/he doesn’t feel neglected once the baby is born. You may also discuss how at least one of you can find one-to-one special time with your older child on a daily basis.
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