Very often new fathers think ‘I don’t know or ‘I can’t do it right when it comes to baby care. Sometimes, they wrongly assume that these things come to mothers naturally and with better ease. But the fact is that a new mother is as unskilled as a new father when it comes to baby...
Cuddle - 0 to 12 MonthsFor the new father: Your role once the baby is born
Very often new fathers think ‘I don’t know or ‘I can’t do it right when it comes to baby care. Sometimes, they wrongly assume that these things come to mothers naturally and with better ease. But the fact is that a new mother is as unskilled as a new father when it comes to baby care. It is only through practicing, making mistakes, and again practicing that a new mother gets confident in handling and caring for her new baby. Hence, assuming that baby care is something purely maternal and that nature equips the mother to do all aspects of baby care instinctively is a faulty assumption. Such an unrealistic expectation from the family members would pile up stress on the new mother and lead to a lack of proper support.
Fathers need not always do big things. Even small things like helping with changing a diaper, burping the baby after feeding, getting a drink for the mother while nursing, and helping with giving a bath to the baby- all make a positive difference in a mother’s postpartum life. Not only such involvement from the dad lets the mother feel supported, but also promotes dad-baby bonding.
It’s ok! You are a NEW Father!
Some men are uncomfortable with the ‘not knowing what to do state. But for first-time parents, there will be a lot of such moments and the first thing to know is that it is ok not to know how to handle things. It is ok to struggle, and that doesn’t make you a bad parent. Parenting is a learned skill that literally pushes you out of your comfort zone. You will need to ask for help, be patient with yourself and your partner more than ever, admit your helplessness, stretch yourself physically and mentally, and redefine all your priorities. Yet, the journey is as rewarding as it is difficult.
Read Cues from your baby!
Trying to learn to read baby cues is another way a dad can grow in confidence in handling the baby and supporting the mother. Sometimes, if a mother is in pain or having a lot of mood swings, she may not be able to notice or read the different cues that the baby is giving in subtle ways. A keenly observing dad can be of enormous help. Reading baby cues will also help you in responding quickly, and you will have a more content and happier baby. Not understanding or promptly responding to the baby’s cues is one of the most common causes of fussiness and colic.
Be there for her!
If you are living in a joined family, as a new father, you may speak for your wife to other family members when she can’t do so due to various reasons. For example, if the mother needs more time and space with her baby, but is not getting it due to the over-involvement of other family members, you are the best person to give suggestions to others in such a way that she gets some time to spend with her baby.
All these should be done in a sensitive manner, and the purpose of such communication should be to make the rest of the family more aware of the needs of the mother.
If needed, you can take the help of a parent mentor to support you and give you insights on how to handle situations where other family members are also involved.
Totto parent mentor not only supports new moms but also helps the new father. Trying to make the best use of all the available opportunities along with perseverance will shape you into the best dad version of yourself.
